Resources for the Intentional Parent

My Most Important Resolution

Like most moms, throughout the years I have resolved to lose weight, to cook healthier, to watch my spending, to reignite my passions, to spend more time with friends, to write more letters, to travel more, indulge less and so on and so forth. We have all been there, right? While January 1st and the idea of setting a New Year’s resolution has almost become a joke, this year is different. Well at least for me, because the stakes are higher than they have ever been before.

Let me explain… while I know it can add years to my life if I lose a little weight there is no guarantee those years will be quality years. If I had to choose between more time and quality time, I would choose quality over quantity every time. So while I try to work all year long to commit to my health, and my contribution to this world being a positive one…this year I will be intentional about one thing. One very important thing that will make or break my relationship with the most important people in my life…my kids and my husband.

I have been distracted from them because of everything…work, volunteering, etc. but the biggest wall I am building up blocking the relationships I hold the dearest are those of being connected to technology instead of connecting to my family. I said it…in big and bold print, technology has gotten in the way of my relationships with the people I love the most. As a work from home mom, working from my phone has become second nature. I am always connected to my phone, and disconnected from my kids. While they eat their lunch and afterschool snack, I am answering emails on my phone. Those moments are so cherished, and I am so distracted. If you ask me if that is my intention, or my preference, the answer is always no, but yet, it is my reality with my kids.

So, this year, in fact starting with our holiday vacation in mid-December, I resolve to change my tech habits. To connect more to my kids than I connect to my phone or computer. Will it be the hardest resolution I have ever taken on…absolutely. But as I said before, the stakes are higher than ever and this time I do not intend to fail.

Here is how I intend to keep tech in check in 2016…maybe my list will help you make this a priority in your life as well.

  1. SET CLEAR OFFICE HOURS: If it is not an office hour where I am working, I will not be connected. After everything I have read, this should not decrease my productivity but instead make my time more productive. What a gift, and that will guarantee I have the most important hours with my kids.

  2. MOVE MY CHARGING STATION: I am moving my charging station away from where I connect with my kids and husband the most. For me, that will be moving it away from the living/dining room and over by the front door so I can check out of the phone and check into intentional family time while my phone is charging.

  3. ENFORCE BEDTIMES: The time with my husband had become so filled with tech, that I need to connect to him to make this process work. We are so much better when we are a team, when we connect…and our best opportunity to do that is after the kids go to bed and before we go to bed. The golden hours of the evening.

  4. LOOK TO CONNECT: I am going to be so much more intentional about being present while talking to my kids and to my husband. One way I plan to do this is by connecting eyes when talking to them. When correcting my kids, make eye contact first. When greeting my husband after he gets home, looking into his eyes. When tucking my kids into bed, looking into their tired eyes and smiling at them with the comfort and love they deserve to see before they drift off into dreamland.

  5. FORGET MY PHONE: Seriously. Have you ever forgotten your phone and had to unplug? It is so empowering to not have the pressure to answer questions in an instant and to focus on what life is all about. So while I am really detail oriented, I really won’t forget it…so I will plan to forget it at home. Or forget it in my car. Might I miss that perfect picture of my kids on the playground? Sure. But will I miss a memory and a connection? Not a chance. And that is a great gift.

Kudoso can help you keep tech in check! But what ideas do you have to help me unplug and connect with my kids? I want to hear from you!